Warnings
by willlzyx
Summary: Lithuania warned Poland that he should've left before Russia got home, and Poland just didn't listen. Now he's scarred for life. - No pairings or violence. I tried to be funny.


**Disclaimer(s): I do not own Hetalia. if I did, there would be more gayness. Much more gayness. MUCH, much more gayness. Okay, I'm done. **

**Warning(s): Possible ooc-ness, I've never written Poland before and they won't have accents because I suck at typing them. Also very failed, drunk, scary Russia images that may scar you forever and ever. :D**

**Human and country names are used (:**

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Feliks sighed, leaning further back in the chair as he took another sip of his tea. His green eyes followed the brunette as he swept floors, dusted off shelves and wiped the coffee table more than a dozen times. He chuckled, watching as he seemed to be speed cleaning. Lithuania paused at the sound, brushing stray hairs out of his face, turning to face the (lazy) blonde.

"You know, when you called and said you would help me clean, I actually thought you would… Yanno.. _Help me_," Toris rolled his eyes, tossing the dustpan onto the coffee table.

"I totally did help," Feliks shrugged. "I like, made you and Latvia tea, and I totally kept your chair warm for you." He grinned, letting out a small 'hmph.' "..Well, I kinda drank your tea. But, it's totally the thought that counts!"

Toris rolled his eyes, sitting on the coffee table, completely ignoring the fact that he just cleaned it… He rubbed his temples, sighing. He glanced up at the clock, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw how late it had gotten.

"Yeah, it's definitely the thought that counts… But, anyway, uh, you should probably get going. Mr. Russia's bound to be back any minute, and—"

"No. Like, Liet, that meanie can't kick me out, I won't let him," Poland shook his head, crossing his arms. "I plan on staying, thank you very much."

"Er, trust me, Feliks. You don't understand. You won't want to be here when he gets home," Toris stood up, walking over towards the window. _So far, so good_. No signs of the Russian.

"Well, why not? He's not like, going to hurt you again, is he? I totally won't let that happen, Liet!" The blonde jumped up, knocking the forgotten cup of tea off of his lap in the process. Toris groaned, resisting the urge to face-palm. There was one more thing he'd have to clean up _without_ his friend's help…

Liet waved a hand, "No, it's not that. It's just... Well, on the days when Mr. Russia over-drinks, things get… Disturbing." He glanced out the window again, swearing under his breath as aforementioned Russian was making his way up the driveway. Feliks crept up next to him, following his gaze until his own eyes lay on a poor, stumbling Ivan who, at the moment, was trying to find the correct key to unlock the front door. Toris sighed as Russia finally managed to find the key and unlock the door.

"Daddy's home~! Where are my little Baltic babies~?" Russia called out from the hall.

Toris resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall.

He looked apologetically at Poland, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

The Pole was about to ask what on Earth that was supposed to mean, the smell of Vodka invaded the room and announced Ivan's presence. The Russian was currently leaning against the doorframe, trying to find a way to take his boots and coat off at the same time, without using his hands…

Feliks jumped in front of the Lithuanian, crossing his arms defiantly. It was a sweet thought, but, really, the only person he needed to be saving was _himself._

"Don't you like, dare lay a hand on my Liet! I will totally—" Poland froze, his eye twitching at the sight in front of him.

Ivan had somehow managed to figure out how to get both articles of clothing off, and was now sitting quietly in front of the fireplace, sipping more unneeded vodka. It would've been a normal sight that Feliks was used to seeing... If the Russian had some clothing other than just _his scarf _on.

Poland squeaked, the image of a naked Ivan burning itself into his mind forever. Liet patted his back, turning him away and leading him into the kitchen.

"I told you, you should've left before he got home," Toris held back a chuckle, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing some hot cocoa mix.

"I.. What.. How can you like, just sit there and be used to that? I-I don't think I'll ever like, be the same again, Liet! I can totally never unsee that!" Feliks groaned, laying his head in his hands. "My brain is like, dead, now…"

Toris placed the new mug of cocoa in front of the blonde, "I told you to leave. You didn't listen. Now, just.. Drink the cocoa. Cocoa helps every bad situation. You'll forget the scene of Mr. Russia in a no-time!"

The Pole lifted his head, grabbing the mug and took a small sip. Toris was right about that; Cocoa did make everything better. Hm. Maybe his brain would be alright!

… Well, it would've been, if Ivan stayed by the fireplace and didn't run into the kitchen singing Rasputin...

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**YAY FOR LAME ENDINGS. **

**Poor Feliks. :c **

**This is what happens when my Poland and I discuss what Russia wears underneath of his coat… XD **

**Okay, so, excuse the OOC-ness, I've only written as Liet once or twice, but never Poland. So, sorry if they're extremely out of character \: **

**Reviews aren't needed but they are loved and give me the warm fuzzies! Constructive criticism is also welcome! :D**


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